I AM A FUCKING INTELLECTUAL

kermitthecoward:

chipotle isnt nearly as good as people make it out to be

sure ill eat it but its not something i’d consider my first choice

whenever a friend would get hype about a chipotle opening up in some new  location im just like “lol ok”

Chipotle is basic.

“Hi Zack, Finished Kurt Vonnegut’s book, Breakfast of Champions, and I am at a loss. Nothing like any book I ever read. Am I missing something? Can you tell me what it all means?”

— My grandmother is awesome.

“

I lived in NYC for 12 years before the economy forced me to move home and in with my parents for 18 months. This is what it taught me: New Yorkers more than anyone else appreciate and support history, culture and literature. A Midwesterner (as in most that I grew up with) celebrates when Wal-Mart moves into town, thinks 50 Shades of Grey is an epic novel, consider Buffalo Wild Wings to be date night material and don’t blink an eye when a historic old building is torn down and turned into condos. New Yorkers boycott, bitch and handcuff themselves to inanimate objects. New Yorkers overlook the filth and high prices because every day is full of “experiences” that we collect and trade like currency — we see exhibits of famous authors and artists our friends only read about, we eat food made by celebrity chefs or grab a bite from a cool food cart, we get drunk alongside the celebrities that live in our neighborhoods, and we ignore the fact that we often have to walk around crazies, piles of dog shit, film sets, tour groups and couples who feel the need to air their dirty laundry for all to hear.

The bad: Nowhere else does “What do you do for a living?” come right after “nice to meet you.” Nowhere else does getting somewhere become completely mired by a breakdown in mass transit or bad weather. Nowhere else can you closely bond and befriend someone over a span of five years and then have them disappear from your life simply because they don’t have the energy to maintain a friendship outside of their neighborhood or zip code.

Cord, I totally get where you’re coming from. Personally I HAD to come back for my own sanity, because quite simply NYC is the one place where people don’t celebrate chain restaurants, insist that they’d rather die than not have a car, and think everybody’s notion of happily ever after ends and begins with marriage and 2.5 kids. I’m not going to sit here and dog L.A., but for me it’s always lacked the “realness” NYC has. (Although I give you points for In N’ Out Burger.)

Quite simply, I admire a town that tells you to “fuck off” to your face and not behind your back.

”

— 

What I’ll miss about NYC. From gawker, in reply to an article on NYC vs LA.

http://gawker.com/5922392/?post=50737681

Living in PDX now.

10 Ridiculously Offensive Things People Tell Asian Women On OkCupid

White Men: Literally the worst people ever.

“A man is a two faced, a worrisome thing, that’ll leave you to sing the blues.”

— Ella Fitzgerald

“

A List of “Men’s Rights” Issues That Feminism Is Already Working On

Feminists do not want you to lose custody of your children. The assumption that women are naturally better caregivers is part of patriarchy.

Feminists do not like commercials in which bumbling dads mess up the laundry and competent wives have to bustle in and fix it. The assumption that women are naturally better housekeepers is part of patriarchy.

Feminists do not want you to have to make alimony payments. Alimony is set up to combat the fact that women have been historically expected to prioritize domestic duties over professional goals, thus minimizing their earning potential if their “traditional” marriages end. The assumption that wives should make babies instead of money is part of patriarchy.

Feminists do not want anyone to get raped in prison. Permissiveness and jokes about prison rape are part of rape culture, which is part of patriarchy.

Feminists do not want anyone to be falsely accused of rape. False rape accusations discredit rape victims, which reinforces rape culture, which is part of patriarchy.

Feminists do not want you to be lonely and we do not hate “nice guys.” The idea that certain people are inherently more valuable than other people because of superficial physical attributes is part of patriarchy.

Feminists do not want you to have to pay for dinner. We want the opportunity to achieve financial success on par with men in any field we choose (and are qualified for), and the fact that we currently don’t is part of patriarchy. The idea that men should coddle and provide for women, and/or purchase their affections in romantic contexts, is condescending and damaging and part of patriarchy.

Feminists do not want you to be maimed or killed in industrial accidents, or toil in coal mines while we do cushy secretarial work and various yarn-themed activities. The fact that women have long been shut out of dangerous industrial jobs (by men, by the way) is part of patriarchy.

Feminists do not want you to commit suicide. Any pressures and expectations that lower the quality of life of either gender are part of patriarchy. The fact that depression is characterized as an effeminate weakness, making men less likely to seek treatment, is part of patriarchy.

Feminists do not want you to be viewed with suspicion when you take your child to the park (men frequently insist that this is a serious issue, so I will take them at their word). The assumption that men are insatiable sexual animals, combined with the idea that it’s unnatural for men to care for children, is part of patriarchy.

Feminists do not want you to be drafted and then die in a war while we stay home and iron stuff. The idea that women are too weak to fight or too delicate to function in a military setting is part of patriarchy.

Feminists do not want women to escape prosecution on legitimate domestic violence charges, nor do we want men to be ridiculed for being raped or abused. The idea that women are naturally gentle and compliant and that victimhood is inherently feminine is part of patriarchy.

Feminists hate patriarchy. We do not hate you.

If you really care about those issues as passionately as you say you do, you should be thanking feminists, because feminism is a social movement actively dedicated to dismantling every single one of them. The fact that you blame feminists—your allies—for problems against which they have been struggling for decades suggests that supporting men isn’t nearly as important to you as resenting women. We care about your problems a lot. Could you try caring about ours?

”

— 

Autostraddle (via notaprincessdestinedtobeawitch)

Guys. You need to read this.

Christian Death live in Hollywood, 1984